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Another true day
Another clear though
Another sleepless night
deciding what is right

Today’s first breath
Today’s best friend
Today’s long gone
leading to this song

A day worth living
A day for seeing
A day for dying
that’s what I’m trying

A statement for being
A statement for today
A statement I ignore
for you I don’t adore

I awoke this morning
I awoke in a haze
I awoke in thought so deep
I did not truly sleep

For this I am thankful
For this I have thought
For what I decided
will not be divided

I’m sorry you’re in pain
I’m sorry you could not see
I’m sorry you feel this way
but with you I cannot stay
©2007-2009 ~Deblackraven
:icondeblackraven:

Author's Comments

I'm feeling the urge to ask people what they think of my work, also if you could all help me with ideas and editing with my new story it is really important because I might try submitting it to wizards of the coast this year.

Comments


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:iconkalimey:
story?! ima have to check that out *has been ignoring Deviantwatch again* def give you feedback.

this is good. has rhythm and a distinct feel to it. : )

--
Yeah well, Caesar and Marcus were tight, and look what happened to them.
:iconblue-strawberry:
I like the structure of this. The repeated words and then a different last line works very well, it gives the poem rhythm and flow :thumbsup:
Although, the second line confused me, I don't know if its a typo..?

--
You have four nostrils, just to let you know.
:icondeblackraven:
fixed it, thanks!

--
hey, don't tease me about my hobbies, I don't tease you about being an asshole
there are three kinds of people in the universe, those who can count and those who cannot
The difference between you and me is that I know I'm childish
:icongothic-kitten:
Your poems are always really well done

--
"On cold wings she's coming. You better keep moving. For warmth, you'll be longing. Come on just feel it. Don't you see it? You better believe it. Whenever she is raging. She takes all life away. Haven't you seen? Haven't you seen? The ruins of our world?

Details

October 3, 2007
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